How to Workshop the Listening Ladder: Step-by-Step

If you want your team to be more creative, you don’t need another brainstorming session. You need to learn how to make each other feel heard and seen.

The Listening Ladder is a structured, data-informed exercise you can run in 60–90 minutes. It takes your team on a fast journey from pure noise to deep, empathetic listening—and gives you a common language you can use long after the session ends.

Photo by Prateek Katyal on Unsplash

When to use this exercise

The Listening Ladder works well when:

• A new team is forming and you want to set a strong foundation.

• A project team is stuck in unproductive patterns (talking over one another, repeating the same arguments, avoiding tough topics).

• You’re facilitating a retreat, workshop, or class and want participants to experience psychological safety and curiosity—not just hear about them.

  
  

You can run it in person or online, with pairs forming in breakout rooms if you’re virtual.

Preparation

• Time: 60–90 minutes total, including debrief.

• Group size: Works with as few as 4 people and scales easily; you just need an even number to form pairs.

• Materials: Timer, a slide or handout with brief instructions for each part, and a list of optional conversation starters for the later stages.

• Space: A room where pairs have some space to talk, or a virtual platform that supports breakout rooms.

  
  

Tell participants upfront: this will feel a little odd at first, and that’s intentional. Assure them that you’ll guide them step by step and that you’ll debrief together at the end.

Overview of the five parts (for participants)

You can give this quick, plain-language preview:

• Part A: Everyone talks at once; there is no real communication.

• Part B: Everyone still talks at once, but tries to catch fragments of what the other person says.

• Part C: One person asks, one person responds; the focus is on active, curious listening.

• Part D: Two-way dialogue with shared responsibility for listening and learning.

• Part E: One person shares a real frustration; the other listens for and reflects back feelings as well as content.

  
  

Let them know you’ll give detailed instructions before each segment.

Run of show (facilitation guide)

• Part A – Restless Noise (about 3–5 minutes total)

  • Pair people up. Explain that they’ll talk simultaneously in short bursts, saying specific, neutral content (for example, alphabet vs counting, then simple personal details).

  • Emphasize: their job is not to listen.

  • Run two very short rounds and bring them back without debriefing.

    
    

• Part B – Breaking Through (about 8–10 minutes)

  • Same pairs. This time, each person talks about something they care about while still speaking at the same time.

  • In the second mini-round, ask them to catch and briefly incorporate words or phrases they hear from their partner into their own story—even if it feels artificial.

  • Again, no debrief yet. Just note the energy and move on.

    
    

• Part C – Finding Focus (about 10–12 minutes)

  • Keep the same pairs. Explain that one person will ask a question and practice active listening (paraphrasing, curious follow-ups), while the other responds.

  • Give a few sample questions they can use if they’re stuck (e.g., “What’s a project you’re proud of?” “What’s something you’re learning right now?”).

  • Run for a set time, then have them switch roles. Briefly ask for a one-sentence reflection in the main group if time allows, but save the deeper debrief.

    
    

• Part D – The Dance (about 8–10 minutes)

  • Form new pairs. Now the conversation is more natural: they co-create a dialogue, both practicing active listening and inquiry.

  • Invite them to choose any topic they’re comfortable with, and to aim for balance—both people speaking and listening.

  • After the time is up, bring everyone back and acknowledge that we’ve moved from chaos to coordinated conversation.

    
    

• Part E – Between the Lines (about 12–15 minutes)

  • Same pairs as Part D. Explain that one person will share a real frustration or annoyance for a short period, and the other will focus only on listening and reflecting back what they heard and what they sense the speaker might be feeling.

  • Emphasize: no fixing, no advice, no “me too” stories. The goal is to help the speaker hear their own experience more clearly.

  • Have them switch roles halfway through. Then bring everyone back for the full debrief.

    
    

Debriefing the experience

This is where much of the learning is. Do not skimp on this. Please.

Capture key phrases on a whiteboard or shared document. These often become the team’s short-hand: “Let’s not slip back into Restless Noise,” or “Can we move this conversation up the Ladder a notch?”

Sustaining the learning

The exercise is a starting point, not a one-off event. To keep it alive, you might:

• Revisit the Ladder language in regular meetings (“Where are we on the Ladder right now?”).

• Invite people to practice one specific behavior for a week (e.g., one extra curious question before responding with their own view).

• Run shorter “refresh” versions of Parts C–E periodically.

  
  

If you try the Listening Ladder with your team, I’d love to hear what you notice—and what changes in how you work together.

Detailed Instructions

Objective: This simulation series provides team members with the opportunity to experience various ways of receiving and responding to messages.

In-Person Instructions (easily adapted to online if you have breakout rooms):

• All simulation sets should be completed in sequence on the same day, with a full group debrief at the end.

• The first three exercises (Parts A–C) should be done with the same partner

• Change partners before Part D to encourage new interactions.

• When facilitating this exercise, it is important to provide a high-level overview at the start, as the five-part structure may seem long or complex.

• While there are multiple components, clearly outlining the process helps participants understand that there is a structured method behind the activity.

• Detailed instructions should be provided step by step to keep the group engaged.

• Save the debrief for the end. This approach allows participants to fully experience the progression from ignoring each other in the early stages to engaging in deliberative dialogue in the later stages, fostering deeper reflection and awareness.

• Switching partners after Part C is intentional, as the first three parts focus on building comfort and foundational skills, while Part D integrates these skills in a new dynamic.

• Working with a different partner at this stage helps reinforce learning in a fresh context.

• Finally, if empathetic listening (Part E) seems too advanced or risky for the group, facilitators may choose to stop after Part D and conduct the full debrief at that point.

Part A – Restless Noise

1. Explain the logistics and activities so all participants understand the exercise.

   
   

2. Logistics:

   1. This practice consists of two parts: Set 1 and Set 2, each lasting 30 seconds.

   2. Participants will work in pairs.

   3. This exercise requires timing; facilitators can use an alarm or instruct participants to time themselves.

   4. Each pair will complete both sets before continuing.

      
      

3. Activities

   1. Set 1: Alphabet and Counting – One person continuously recites the alphabet, while the other counts numbers aloud simultaneously for 30 seconds.

   2. Set 2: Each person simultaneously recites their contact information - 30 seconds

      
      

Part B – Breaking Through

1. Provide a clear explanation of the exercise so all participants understand the process.

   
   

2. Logistics:

   1. This exercise consists of two parts: Set 1 and Set 2, each lasting one minute.

   2. Participants will work in breakout rooms with the same pairs from Part A.

   3. This exercise requires timing; facilitators can use an alarm or instruct participants to time themselves.

   4. Each pair will complete both sets before continuing.

      
      

Activities

1. Set 1: Listen to Me – Both partners will speak simultaneously about something that interests them, such as their studies or hobbies. Each person should focus entirely on telling their own story, without attempting to listen or respond to their partner. Encourage them to imagine being in a bubble, solely focused on expressing their message.

2. Set 2: Catching Fragments – Both partners will again speak simultaneously about something that interests them, similar to the previous exercise. However, this time, they should attempt to catch fragments of what their partner is saying. When they hear a keyword or phrase, they should briefly weave it into their own story. For example, if one person hears their partner mention “dogs” while talking about their vacation, they might say, “I saw many dogs on the beach…”—whether or not it is true.

3. Differences between the two sets:

   1. Set 1: Complete isolation—both individuals speak in parallel with no interaction.

   2. Set 2: Mostly isolated speaking, but with brief moments of catching and incorporating fragments from the other person.

Part C – Finding Focus

1. Set up the exercise so participants understand the process.

2. Logistics

   1. This exercise consists of two parts: each lasting four minutes.

   2. Participants will work with the same pairs from Parts A and B.

   3. This exercise requires timing; facilitators can use an alarm or instruct participants to time themselves.

   4. Each pair will complete both sets before continuing.

      
      

3. Activity

   1. The person starting the conversation is the asker, and the other is the responder.

      1. The asker applies active listening by paraphrasing and asking curious, open-ended questions to deepen understanding. (See Table 1 for an example.)

      2. The person starting the conversation is the asker, and the other is the responder.

         1. The asker applies active listening by paraphrasing and asking curious, open-ended questions to deepen understanding. (See Table 1 for an example.)

         2. The asker selects a question from the list of conversation starters or creates their own and poses it to the responder. (See Table 1 legend for some suggestions.)

         3. The responder answers the question genuinely.

         4. The asker selects a question from the list of conversation starters or creates their own and poses it to the responder. (See Table 1 legend for some suggestions.)

         5. The responder answers the question genuinely.

         6. The asker listens attentively, responds with genuine curiosity, and asks a follow-up question based on what they heard.

         7. The Responder answers the follow-up question.

         8. Have the pairs do this for four minutes.

         9. Pairs continue this exchange until time is up and then switch roles so both participants have taken a turn asking questions.

         10. No debrief will follow this section. Instead, participants will transition to Part D with new pairings.

      
      

      Note. Possible conversation starters for active listening practice include: What are you doing when you lose all sense of time and are truly in the moment? How would you define [success, expertise, consensus, etc.]? What do you most want to achieve in five years? What is one accomplishment you are very proud of? What mistake did you make that taught you the greatest lesson? Who is one of your role models? If you had to pick one activity—skydiving, scuba diving, or bungee jumping—which one would you choose?

      
      

Part D –The Dance

1. Set up the exercise so all participants understand the process.

   
   

2. Logistics:

   1. Inform participants that they will be ask to select a new partner.

   2. This exercise will be completed once, as partners will now engage in a dialogue rather than a structured turn-taking format. They will apply the active listening and inquiry skills practiced in Part C, this time in coordination with their partner.

   3. The exercise requires timing.

   4. Pairs will engage in a five-minute dialogue.

      
      

3. Activity

   1. Ask pairs to apply the active listening and inquiry skills they practiced in the previous exercise to maximize their learning from the other person.

   2. Either participant can initiate the dialogue—they may start with a statement followed by a question or begin directly with a question. The topic is entirely up to them, and they may choose a question from the previous list if needed.

   3. The goal is for each person to maximize learning from their partner, which requires balance and cooperation throughout the conversation.

   4. Remind participants to remain fully present and engaged with their partners.

   5. At this point, facilitators may choose to end the session or proceed to the final practice, which introduces the next step: Empathetic listening.

      
      

Part E – Between the Lines

1. Set up the exercise so all participants understand the process.

   
   

2. Logistics:

   1. Participants will remain in the same pairings as Part D.

   2. The exercise will be done twice, allowing each person to take turns as the starter and the responder.

      
      

3. Activity

   1. Pairs will alternate roles, with one person as the starter and the other as the responder.

   2. The full exercise lasts eight minutes, with partners switching roles at the halfway mark (four minutes per turn).

   3. The starter begins by expressing a 45-second “storm”—sharing something real that is frustrating, annoying, or bothering them. The topic can be small or significant, depending on their comfort level.

   4. After 45 seconds, the responder will apply the listening skills they have been practicing by paraphrasing what they heard the Starter say.

      1. Additionally, they will express what they believe the Starter might be feeling and ask for confirmation, recognizing that their interpretation may not be entirely accurate—which is why they seek clarification.

      2. The responder must focus entirely on the starter, resisting the urge to give advice or problem-solve.

      3. Instead, they should listen attentively to identify the emotions underlying the Starter’s words.

      4. The Responder’s primary role is to support the Starter in reflecting on their own experience and emotions, creating space for deeper self-awareness.

         For example:

         1. Starter: “I’m really getting tired of having to do the cooking every night....”

         2. Responder: “I just heard you say you are getting really tired of being the one who has to cook up all the time. I’m thinking you are frustrated and in need of some respect for your time and energy. Am I on track?

         3. Starter: “Yes… or not quite…or ….”

         4. Responder: “I’m hearing you say not quite, can you help me understand what you are feeling?”

Debrief

Encourage participants to reflect on their experience and share key insights gained throughout the entire exercise series.

Some questions could include?

• What was your experience participating in this series of exercises

  • (Parts A–E)?

• What insights or realizations did you gain?

• Did anything surprise you? If so, what and why?

• What is a key takeaway for you personally? For your team?

Citation: Bennett, L.M. (2026)  Maximizing Collaborative Creativity: Learning and Practices for Instilling an Intentional Team Culture. In Jill Nemiro (Ed.) Preparing Students in Higher Education for Creative Collaboration in Virtual Teams. IGI Global Publishing. https://doi.org/10.4018/979-8-3373-0375-8.ch006